What happened between 42 to 48?
So many things happened within the seven years of absence from the blogosphere! For one, I’ve taken a few leaps of faith and ventured into what I am passionate about: Interior Design. I’ve gained so much experience when I was given a breakthrough to work in a local Interior Design Firm in 2014. I’ve learned so much about managing clients, their expectations, design development, materiality, project management and drawings. Yes, many types of drawings.
Along with the new learning curve, I’ve also travelled quite a fair bit. The new position took me to Thailand, Singapore, Vietnam, China, Germany and Italy, and met many interesting peers and mentors, in this field. The design field is always creative, full of possibilities and always innovative.
I had the good fortune to be involved as part of the event organiser for a TEDx platform. It was new, it is still, Malaysia’s only Chinese spoken TEDx event. Aptly titled: TEDxPetalingStreet, it’s inception was to enrich the Malaysian Chinese community. My baton as Co-Curator was given to the new generation and I took a step back and am now more involved behind-scene and as a mentor to the young group.
It also marked the beginning of health neglect, with all the new work and pressure that came with it. I’ve messed up health and wasn’t eating well, wasn’t sleeping enough and lead to a sedentary lifestyle.
In 2019, I had a wake up call, It was at a health screening to renew my Insurance policy, that i discovered I became a pre-diabetic. My HBA1C reading was nearing diabetics level, no thanks to the bad lifestyle habits I’ve been practising for a decade. 2019 was a transformation year. It was the year I decided to take back control of my life. Foreseeing a life of drug and medicine dependency and a compromised lifestyle, I decided to change. I discovered ‘Keto’ and ‘Intermittent Fasting’, I googled and did a lot of research on these two diet lifestyle before I made my crucial decision. I chose Intermittent fasting after considering all factors, (lifestyle changes, financial changes, etc)
I also realised that, far more important is the will to accept who you are and why you want to change. I wanted to change, and with that; change the mind-set, change my habits. We are such creature of habits and we all hated change. Little did I know that through this inevitable but impertinent moment of my life, it helped me to survive and thrive during the Pandemic years.
In May 2019, I made a few health goals:
1. To diligently start ‘Intermittent Fasting’ and stick to it for first three months.
2. To start taking ten thousand steps a day (10k steps)
3. To learn to be more aware of myself.
In August that year, I saw myself beginning to transform physically. The weight started to shed, my skin complexion is better, I FEEL better. Discipline began to develop, next came focus. From three months, I soldered on to another three months, and then it was end of 2019. I also started to do more physical activities. I took advantage of my spare time, any given free time I could after work to walk, hike and bike ride. I didn’t accomplished my 10k steps initially. I had to progress from 5K to 8K and then to 10K steps daily. I also transformed internally, I fought very hard with the old demons, I faced them upfront, tamed and vanquished them, one by one. It was not an easy task. The old sages have mentioned: To conquer oneself is the biggest victory. I concur. The next goal was to change the way I work, professionally. I had to reorganise and changed how I am going to be productive. I had to prioritise and find my work life balance. I eliminated toxicity, (culture, habits and people) and I want peace and simplicity.
By the time it was Chinese New Year of 2020, I’ve lost fifteen kilos from ninety kilos. I was seventy five kilos. My health screening results came back with doctor’s accolade and amazement, He even asked what did I do? I think it was my change in mind-set and pushing myself to be more focus and disciplined, along with I.F that made the transformation achievable.
From that moment onwards, I decided to stick with I.F daily, increased my exercise time and devoted more time to healing internally and learn new skill-sets, new habits. Covid-19 came to Malaysian shores by end of Feb 2020. We went into a lockdown by March 18th 2020. I took this as a blessing in disguise, I was able to reset, restart and re-look into work habits, It gave me plenty of time (no work and we all had to be at home) to reassess what became important to me. Family, Love, Health and Fellowship - these are my pillars of strength now.
Throughout the year of 2020, I did my Kon Mari, I cleared all of my wardrobe, I donated my old clothes as I shrank from XL to S. I also cleared the physical junk at home, as well as internal ‘junk’ within me. I gave up unhealthy habits of my old me. I gained new habits, I found a different kind of freedom. I gained back my health, I gained back my strength to take on challenges and not be afraid to fail. I rediscovered friendship and the importance of keeping family safe.
I also became my Mother’s care giver. Her fall in July of 2020, gave me an opportunity to know her better, take care of her and see her as who she is now, as compared to the women she was when. Indeed we live different lives. Though I go home regularly to visit her, but I never ‘knew’ her when she advance and age. Through the fall, hospital visits and making sure her needs are taken care of, I have gotten to know my dear Mom better. I understood her better. I see her frailties, flaws and her worries. I also see her warmth, her love and her wisdom, which I had not seen.
2020 was a huge learning curve for me. I felt blessed that I am her care giver, her pillar of strength and also her punching bag when she is frustrated, irritated or just needing attention (most elder parents do as they are alone and they have no one to communicate with). I’ve learned to be a parent to my Mom. I see her ageing and how it has changed her physically, emotionally and spiritually.
I also learned to trust my heart again, I’ve started to date around and meet like minded guys. It’s still far from a bed of roses in my relationship department; I’ve gone through my fair share of ‘Dates from hell’ to some those ‘He just wasn’t into you’ moments. I’m still single and available, for now
I’ll end here. There’s just so much to write and many more I’d want to share… That’s for another blog post.
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