You're only 25 once...

I've just turned 35. Wow.... I can't fucking believe that I'm 35. I have no problem with the numbers 35, after all, they're just a number... But again, I feel that my body is needing more attention and I've got to take good care of it. Just like the car I'm driving, this body needs maintenance and repairs. You can always get a new car and sell your used car, but not with your body. I definitely need to listen to my body.

So what did I do when I realized I was turning 35?. I made a wish. It seemed cynical to you, but then again, I'm a bloody cynical fuck... I wished I was 25.... Yep. that's what I wished so hard on New Year's day. Tunes of Johnny hates Jazz's 'Turn back the Clock!' was playing in my head as I had a very quiet countdown that evening on New Year's eve. I was supposed to go to a friend's New Year eve party and meet his new beau, a drop dead gorgeous Javanese hunk. But, I had to attend a funeral of a close relative at Rawang... Ya... FUCK!....

Ya, so I was saying, I wished I was 25....again. When I was 25, I was having the best time studying and working in Melbourne, Australia. I was doing a lot of shit stuff that I'd be appalled now looking back. At that age, I was beaming with hope and possibilities of new relationships, new beginnings, new adventures, now I guess I'm my own adventure, possibility and hope. I could party all night, needing less sleep or no sleep at all, its like there's no tomorrow. Damn, I was living the life of a reckless party poofter! Haah....

Well, now at 35, everything has mellowed. I'm more asian that I thought I would be. Drinking PuEr tea with friends, watching the telly and having dinner parties at friends' homes. Oh my God... Things have changed. And this bod of mine, i could stuff it with junk food and abusive substances that I'd never imagine putting it into my body if I was sober... Now, god forbid if I take just half a pill of E, I'd puked and tremble like an old guy with rickets. Fuck! I'm surrendering to the fact that I'm getting OLD.... but I'm hoping that by practising Yoga daily, hitting the gym and doing cardio and weights 3 times a week, eating almost like a lacto vegan and sleeping earlier would slow down my aging process. Gosh, I'm so getting old...

Looking back, I guess being 25 can be awkward too. Although I was having the time of my life, I was also in denial. Yes, I'm a self denial fucked up virgo who always thought I was straight and looking at guys was just a phase of some sexual experimentation. Turned out I do prefer cocks more than pussies... Not wanting to offending my other 'audacious sisters', but yes, I love cocks. So, being 25 was quite a confusing period for me too. As I looked back, I guess with a heavy heart, I wished I was younger, but I'm not complaining about being wiser!

As I end this blog, Its 5 after 10 pm. I'm staring at my MacBook and just finished one long full bodied drag of cigarettes... Yep, turning 35 ain't that bad... after all.

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